When Caring for Those We Love Hurts Those We Love

I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to care for a terminally ill loved one. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to care for a child with a severe illness or disability.  I won’t pretend to know why God chooses to provide earthly healing to some, while providing heavenly healing to others.

All I know is from my own experience, so I would like to tell you my experience with a sick child.


When my middle son was born, he was whisked away to NICU due to the amount of fluid in his lungs.  This was a terrifying moment for my husband. I was pretty much oblivious until later on when my husband returned to my room and told me what was going on.  The years to come would be difficult.  My son would have a terrible time with respiratory issues.  He suffers from severe allergies and asthma.  There were nights I got little to no sleep holding him and giving him breathing treatments. There were nights I wrapped his naked body in a blanket and sat under the carport in the coolness of the rain just so he could breathe.  There were nights I’d pray over him for God to heal his little lungs.  And all those nights made this mama exhausted in the days to follow.  I would lose my temper with my oldest son. I struggled taking care of my family in a loving way.

But God redeems and joy comes in the morning.

joyin themornig

I love the story of Lazarus (and did you know that I had a statue of Lazarus in my living room for a few months?).  But even more, I realize the important thing that happened has Martha approached Jesus.   We know how the story goes, Jesus was told that Lazarus was sick. He took his time getting there. Lazarus died.  When he arrived Martha, the same Martha that told Jesus to scold her sister Mary for not helping with preparations, told Jesus her brother would not have died if He’d been there.  But she also said this,  “But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you” John 11:22.  In her grief, Martha confessed the power of God.

What an amazing testimony.


Lazarus hanging out in our living room.

Can we do that? Can we confess God’s power in our grief?  Can we confess His power in our exhaustion? Can we confess God’s power in the darkest of nights?

Yes! We can!  I have found, no matter what I’m going through, that joy comes in the morning!  And that saying about dark clouds having a silver lining…..it is true.

I love this quote from Charles Spurgeon,

“O God, I believe that in the darkness You are brewing light, that in the storm clouds You are gathering sunshine, that in the mines You are fashioning diamonds, and in the beds of the sea You are making pearls. I believe that however unfathomable may be Your designs, yet they have a bottom.  Though it is in the whirlwind and in the storm, You have a way that is good and righteous altogether.” 


These beautiful words paint an image in my mind. An image of God standing behind the darkness creating something beautiful.  He’s spinning together goodness and mercy to follow us all the days of our life.

If you are going through a difficult season of caring for a loved one, and this season has broken you, I pray that you are able to find peace and hope in Christ our Savior.  If you are going through a season of darkness and grief, I pray that you are able to find mercy and joy in God our Father.

goodness and mercy

How can we pray for you today in this difficult season?


What are some verses that you’ve hidden in your heart for these dark times that would encourage others?


How has God healed your heart in a season of caring for loved ones?


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