I remember having The Golden Rule posted in every elementary classroom of mine when I was a kid. And the way I saw it, most everyone was respectful. If not, then you were definitely in for it when you got home.
As I read this chapter of Triggers, I agreed that disrespect feels like a personal attack. Usually my feelings get hurt, and I respond in anger because, after all, I am MAMA! I think I’ve said that before. Are you seeing a pattern?
I love the biblical definition Amber gives for respect: placing the value of someone else higher than ourselves.
It is obvious that we are not being valued when we are being disrespected. It is very difficult to say that my reactions to disrespect show that I am not valuing that person. Yet, it is truth.
I never really thought about the fact that children can be too immature to really understand the concept of respect. However, it does make sense. As children, they are so used to having someone take care of their every need. As moms, we make sure they are fed, bathed, clothed, and have clean butts. When we hear, “Mama!” we answer. Then our children begin to see that the world doesn’t quite revolve around them. So, they get angry and then we get angry, and we lose the teachable moments to show them how to respect someone even if we don’t agree with them.
Hmmmm. Sounds like something social media could catch on to.
But I digress.
I LOVE how this chapter reminds us of the ULTIMATE EXAMPLE of a response to disrespect. JESUS! Jesus was treated so harshly, so bad that our times of disrespect could never compare. Therefore, we should respond just as he did: LOVE, FORGIVE, SPEAK in SIMPLE TRUTH, and PRAY.
And we are back to that word…..PRAY.
I should pray for my children’s hearts (and immature minds). I should pray for their words. I should pray for my response, to respond in a way that shows I value them more than I value myself.
Then my children will learn to value others.
As we close this chapter…..
1.I encourage you to post Philippians 2:3 somewhere where you and your children will see it. Memorize it. When you feel like you are about to lose your mind, pray it.
2. What stuck with you the most from this chapter?
3. How does the way you handle disrespect compare to the way your parents handled it?
4. What is something you can do today to show your children you value them?
**** On a side note, I asked my kids, “When you are disrespectful, is my correction done out of love?” Colin said sometimes. He added that when I do it out of love, he knows I don’t want them doing stupid stuff. When it isn’t out of love, he knows I’m in a bad mood. The boy knows his mama. On another side note, this is the same child that once said to me, “SHUT UP……….please.”